She sent me another text last night asking for more money for things, I sent one back telling her I just cannot do it all!
She phoned me back and said that she had a lot to pay out with her new house and that I needed to pay for more things for the kids, I said that I was in the situation and would help if I could.
She then said that I should have moved out and sorted my issues out then came back!!!, rather than not going and therefore forcing her to leave and taking the children from their home, I said that I didn't want to leave my family, I never expected that we would split, but I have to work on me to make things right.
She was fine about it and said that we needed to sort the money side out.
By the sound of what she is saying this split is a temporary situation until I can show her my changes, she has never mentioned divorce and never pushed that I sell the house, so I guess its all down to me now to show her the changes in me.
The kids were great last night we had loads of laughs and they kept telling me how they missed me and loved me, broke my heart hearing them say that.
It's was the first time she has actually spoken to me properly in a week and it sounds like the reality of everything is starting to hit home, so do I continue to make no contact and stay detached, or do I start contact and try and show her the changes?
But it sounds like there could be a future for us, but it's down to me to make it happen.
Look I mentioned in another post that she would continue this way of demanding money and resources from you and this is where you will need to stand up for yourself instead of being weak and wussy like and giving her excuses as to why you can't do it.
You WON'T do it, not that you CAN'T do it.
Originally Posted By: DCSUK
...She phoned me back and said that she had a lot to pay out with her new house and that I needed to pay for more things for the kids, I said that I was in the situation and would help if I could.
Didn't she give you excuses as to why she couldn't help with the bills and the mortgage of the home that you both have your names on? She certainly doesn't have a problem exhibiting confidence in her decision not to help you. She told you in her own way, that the house and the bills associated with it are YOUR problem, NOT her's anymore.
Your response is simple: "Look, you decided to get a new place and you will have to be a big girl now and figure out how to handle the expense of living on your own. I didn't make you move out. I didn't decide for you to get a new place. You made all those decisions on your own without me and you assumed that you can just demand for me to finance your new life, and you need to know that I won't be doing that for you. Since you made all those decisions, you now have to figure out how to live on your own without my help since you offered the same option to me. FYI - from now on, I will take care of myself and my children when they're with me and you will have to learn to do the same at your end when you have them. You chose all of this, now deal with the consequences."
