I'm probably the worst one about trying to read into what she is thinking. I just hope that the situation is not something completely different then what I've posted. I do have a tendency to focus on the things that I think are positive from her, and the things that make me question her beliefs in our separation.
Stop trying to read her right now. You are here and there are folks who will translate everything for you. Just post factually what's going on with your sitch.
Coach likes to point out that women's words reflect their feelings but their actions speak for their thinking.
It's confusing until you get enough experience to put it all together.
I'm probably the worst one about trying to read into what she is thinking. I just hope that the situation is not something completely different then what I've posted. I do have a tendency to focus on the things that I think are positive from her, and the things that make me question her beliefs in our separation.
Stop trying to read her right now. You are here and there are folks who will translate everything for you. Just post factually what's going on with your sitch.
Coach likes to point out that women's words reflect their feelings but their actions speak for their thinking.
It's confusing until you get enough experience to put it all together.
I'm still learning.
Alright pookie, im going to let everyone here give me their reads instead of me doing it.
While reading my thread today, i was given the suggestion of telling my wife ways that i appreciate her. Something i might not have done in the past. She was doing something financially that she didnt have to do if she didnt want to so i sent her a text saying "I just wanted to tell you thanks for helping out financially. I appreciate it, You're being really responsible and you deserve my appreciation." She then replies that she is going downstairs to do it after she gets off a conference call. She then texts i help make the debt, im going to help pay for it. 15 minutes later she calls my phone and says she's on her way downstairs to the bank and wanted to know if i got her text messages. About that time my phone starts to cut out because im working in the field, so i just tell myself that if she wants to talk, she'll call back im not going to worry about it. A few minutes later i get a text saying "I didnt know if your text was sincere or more about me not going to the bank yet, I just made the deposit. I replied a few mins later that it was sincere and she said well thank you:). I left it at that. Alright everybody, let me have it.
Im really swimming mentally right now. I decided to go back and look through phone records and the guys number who had an affair with my wife seems to pop up once a month for most of last year. Im absolutely pissed, i want to tell her to go f herself so bad right now. How can i even think of a future when this is all i see in my past now?
Ok, i thought i was really angry, but now im not. I read robx's thread today and now i absolutely get it. Its hard to convince yourself of anything when you still have one foot in the door thinking that things might be ok. After looking at all the records I asked myself how could i be with someone like that. I wasnt perfect, but i did a lot of damn good things for my wife. So after coming to this conclusion i sent her a text telling her to stay away from me, dont write, call, text etc. Of course I get a call not 30 secs. later from her that i didnt pick up. She then just sent me a text that says please answer, why cant we talk. I know that anger is still fueling part of these emotions, but indifference is really starting to take over. Im going to bed, thanks everyone for the advice. Tomorrow im starting the rest of my life.
im going to let everyone here give me their reads instead of me doing it.
How about not worrying about what's in her mind at all (as pookie said) and keep up what you've been doing that has been working? Actually, people here don't know what is going on in her mind any more than you do - only she knows what she is thinking and feeling. Which is why listening more is beneficial, as someone suggested earlier.
Originally Posted By: DB9
Im absolutely pissed, i want to tell her to go f herself so bad right now. How can i even think of a future when this is all i see in my past now?
It is completely understandable to feel this way. Perhaps it seems that you will always be feeling this angry.
As good as it may feel to tell her off, it will also undo some of the progress that has been made, as I'm sure you're aware.
How about not worrying about what's in her mind at all
Yeah, live your life, protect yourself, your assets and your kids (if you have them).
It might have been a while since you dated and such, so let me remind you of something simple: if you can't figure out what a woman is thinking, then she's just not that into you. They make it pretty obvious when they are into you.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
All i basically did was tell her that were not talking anymore, and now its up to me to make sure that happens. She's already called twice and left a text message. I didnt tell her to go screw her self, I just basically said that were to not have any more contact.
All i basically did was tell her that were not talking anymore, and now its up to me to make sure that happens. She's already called twice and left a text message. I didnt tell her to go screw her self, I just basically said that were to not have any more contact.
I feel like I need to just let it be right now. I don't see why we have any reason to talk for the time being. I don't know if I can or should even want to be with someone like this. We don't have kids and she doesn't want anything in regards to the house, etc. so I don't have to be nice just to make out okay.
