I intend to live forever - so far, so good

[smith18]

I dont think Cinderalla #2 is brushing you off.

I like "Thanks for getting back to me. Maybe we can do something another time."

I've even considered how busy life as a single full time dad would be if XW were to disappear. I would be able to handle it no problem, but I would also figure out a means to have someone watch the kids once or twice a month so I could have some adult social time.

[Virtually_Handsome]

I agree with Kerry. A brushoff would be much shorter.

[awest1217]

I don't think Cinderella-2 is brushing you off, but I also don't think she is anywhere near ready to date. I mean ranting like that when she could have just said I have a lot going on right now with D maybe another time, but to rant, to me is very stand offish so maybe she is more friend material for a while.

[sandycay]

Well, not that you asked my opinion but I will say this. If she is into you she would find a way to go out with you. She can pay a sitter for a night. Plus there really wouldn't be any reason to date someone who can only go on a date with you once every month or so...... that would be a slow burn relationship!

She could be legit with her reason but I wouldn't ask her out again unless you leave her with something Kerry said.

I have my kids 100 percent of the time, and I would forgo a ton of things in order to have a short time out by myself a few times a month.

[ClingingToHope]

Sandy, I appreciate all opinions. I'll send her a short note tomorrow along the lines of Kerry's suggestion and move on. I met her through a mutual friend and the next time she does go out, if it's on my weekend, we'll probably see each other.

It was my thought as well that if she really wanted to do something she'd find a way.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

This dilemma has -- mostly -- taken my mind off the fact my L was supposed to meet with STBXW's L today. First time in eight weeks anything will have happened.

Hey, also had the first week of the second 7 week session in my divorce rebuilders class. Four new people at the table.

The prettiest is a soon to be 30-year-old whose husband cheated on her in November, she moved out in December and filed for divorce and it should be over soon.

Interestingly, he is her boss -- she's a medical technician -- and all she talked about is how much they still care about each other. Again, she filed. I'm thinking this is one relationship that's going to do the "on-again, off-again" thing.

[newmama]

Well, I think that Cinderella #2 is gently brushing you off because she missed the magic words:
:"But I'd love to do something with you another time!"

So I agreee with Kerry's suggested reply:
"Thanks for getting back to me. Maybe we can do something another time."

Then you leave it. She may or may not reply but at least you confidently let her know that you weren't crushed by the fact she declined and you also let her know you still wanted to see her another time!

As for dating someone with a boyfriend...what the heck? Why would you do that?!? WHY? I am not shouting, just confused!

[ClingingToHope]

NM, I'm not dating someone with a boyfriend. I asked Cinderella No. 1 to the ball before I knew she had one. He apparently is 5 1/2 hours from here. She never mentioned him in our church singles meetings.

She caught me off guard when she told me that but said she'd still love to go as friends.

I was expecting a yes or no and not a "go as friends" response so I was unprepared and said yes, I still wanted to go.

There were lots of opinions on here and I went back and forth and decided to go because:

1) I already said I would and don't want to be an *ss.

2) It may be the only time I get out on the weekend since I'm moving stuff all day Saturday.

3) It'll get me back into practice in terms of talking, hanging out, etc. No night out is a bad night out.

Tnanks on the suggested reply.

[BobbiJo]

I vote not a brush off but she is clearly overwhelmed right now. Stick with Kerry's reply about maybe doing something another time...

[whatisis]

CTY, just be careful, anytime you go out one on one with someone you are attracted to as "friends" there is the potential for issues to arise. I say this because I know what the mind is capable of, "Oh, we're just friends, sure I'll take that aerobics class with you, sure we can meet for drinks, I'm free that weekend maybe we can...." I understand the awkwardness of backing out now but just be careful because knowing each other in a group versus going out together as a friendly couple is different and different dynamics can come into play. I've been there, I really do know about the "friend" dilema, it's way too easy to play head games with yourself. You are alone and vulnerable, the feeling of validation when you are out with a beautiful woman who likes you can be pretty overpowering. Tread carefully...oh, and have fun!

[v1olin]

Clinging, I would not worry too much about number one having a boyfriend. Just go have fun with your friend and go meet some new women at the ball, maybe even dance with a few strangers! Going as "just friends" will be good for both of you. Do you even know how long they have been dating? What if they have only been casually dating for a month?