You and I both lived with blinders on for a long time, wishing and believing we could change things by being more lovable. Becoming away of abuse that we've suffered over the years is a hard pill to swallow, but it is necessary.
It is a hard pill to swallow.
I wouldn't go so far as to say WH raped me over the years, but over time his sex drive made him disregard my needs, which certainly led to the deterioration of the marriage. Here's a story.
2 years ago, I went to go meet my WH while he was working overseas. It was an 11 hour flight, and on the way I was very very sick. It was a combination of nerves and I think maybe food poisoning, but I hadn't eaten in 11 hours, had vomited on the plane all over myself, and was generally a wreck when I arrived.
And even though I was still a little sick when I arrived and really just wanted to crawl into the bed at the hotel and sleep for the rest of the day, WH insisted we have sex because he hadn't had sex for the 6 weeks prior while we were apart. I tried to put it off, but he was so pushy and I was so tired I just didn't have the energy to resist.
6 weeks, and he couldn't wait one day. He couldn't put my needs as someone who just traveled thousands of miles FOR HIM over his sex drive.
And since he is clearly not dealing with this, and of course our sex life was MY fault, he will continue this pattern. I almost fear that he may step it up with OW. No matter how much of a whore she is (oh, and if I ever see her I will call her a whore) no woman deserves this treatment.
H32 Me32 together:10 M:5 No kids ILYBINILWY 7/28/10 OW found 8/15 A exposed 8/31 I Move 9/3 Dark 10/1
