Albuquerque living

[Albuquerque]

Journaling,

Brief update. Prior to going to our coffee gathering, I texted H (as he had asked) just to let him know we were going. He made some small joke but made it sound like he was going. But I didn't ask.
Upon arriving, we saw H was arriving at the same time. D was elated since I hadn't told her that was a possibility (learned that lesson a looong time ago). Once inside, I introduced him to the people I knew. Out of habit, I introduced him as my H and then instantly regretted that. Seemed like I shouldn't really be bringing that up but since I haven't been to ANY social event with H post-bomb, this wasn't a situation I'd encountered before.

One of H complaints at the time of the bomb was that we never went out and socialized. D and I have been attending a lot of events since then including this one because I realized he was right and I realized I enjoyed them as did D. I talked to various folks but H seemed a bit withdrawn. I was a bit surprised he didn't engage people more when I was involved with interesting conversations. He did a bit, but not to the extent I would have expected. Kind of made ME realize that I have grown a lot in that endeavor since I think pre-bomb I would have spoken even less than H. Anyhow, he still seemed to enjoy himself. At one point, we both got up from the table to get drinks and were standing next to each other. He ended up putting his arm around me. Definitely something I like but I can't help feel like I don't want to enjoy it too much in case it gets yanked away from me again.

Afterwards, he thanked me for "dragging him" to the event. I told him I had hardly DRAGGED him. In fact, there was no dragging involved. He said he knew but that sometimes he needed to be dragged to things. Not quite sure what he meant by that (not spending a whole lot of time figuring it out). He's the one that mentioned going and then actually made the effort to go. I simply mentioned D and I were going when he asked me earlier in the day what my plans were.

I can't help but wonder what kind of relationship he has with OW right now. He himself has told me it's spiraling downward. Given the amount of time he's been spending with me, on the phone, texting, etc, I can understand how. He's still not on FB either. Ah well. No point wondering about that stuff anyhow. Stick to me. I will attempt (once again) to keep to myself today and give him space. We shall see how that works out.