It's been awhile since I posted. Trying to batten down the hatches before the cold, cold weather hits. There have been a few interesting developments. I'll try to summarize here.
First, I am VERY proud to announce that I actually won a table tennis match at the weekly table tennis league for beginners (3-1). (YEAH!!!!!!!) Since I just began playing 6 months ago, I started last week in the bottom group with one other adult and two 9 year olds. Last week one of the 9 year olds said to me "Don't think I'm going to go easy on you just because this is your first week in the league" (don't worry, he was joking).........and he didn't! He won all 3 games. I laughed SO hard that I couldn't hit the ball because he kept looking at me like a cat looks at a mouse. XH knows I've started playing in a league and I fill him in on the funny details. The organizer told me I could invite XH to play, but I decided that this is MY thing. MY life. This is for ME!........and I have been having a lot of fun with this!.............XH and I have been playing table tennis together weekly for the last few weeks and plan to play again tomorrow night. Last week, as we walked to our cars, XH brought up the mysterious 'package'. He seems to want to know who sent it and is helping me in a big way to pull together evidence to figure that out. Can't go into detail, but it's clear that XH seems to be invested in figuring out if BMF was involved. It's like we are working on a project together (we always worked great together). In fact, today XH sent me an email in which he wrote that he has a sample of writing from the "alleged bunny boiler" (his words.....thought it was interesting he used this phrase) if I want it for analysis. I appreciate his help because at this point I just want to know who sent it.
Re: the mysterious package........the forensic scientist tested the envelope and the cover of the book for fingerprints. He found no legible fingerprints and only a few smudged prints. He said that's pretty unusual. When you think about it, SOMEONE had to have touched the book at some point, so that makes me think that the prints were wiped off. ..........Forensic scientist will next begin to look for prints on the inside of the book. I will hopefully know more about this in the next week.
I tested the food residue inside the book for THC and the result was indeterminate.
Another development is that the former GF of BMF has suddenly become very distant. She has only sent a couple cryptic texts in the last 2 weeks, one of which (3 days ago) said "I need to talk to you in person". I responded that I could meet later that day........no reply from her since then. Not sure if she's just ticked off that I am being friendly with XH or if she might be involved in the mysterious package. Time will tell..............
XH seems to be more attentive these days. Often (although not always) he replies to my texts or emails pretty quickly. This is a big change from 6 months ago. However, in spite of this our face to face contact has been limited to the weekly table tennis games. I have been cycling between trying to remain focused and patient and moving forward, and having the urge to tell XH to his face that I am walking out of his life for good. When I look back at where we were 6 months ago we have made TREMENDOUS progress, but I wonder if I still love XH enough to keep going. I am feeling anger bubble up now.........so I guess it's good that I am finally feeling the anger........I KNOW that I still have DEEP, DEEP love for the man that I was M to....and I will always have the memory of the special bond we had (.......and we still have a special bond, even after everything that we've gone through together)........I just feel that I am teetering on the precipice of being relegated to permanent friendship.........and that's not what I want............I think that tomorrow night I have to be a bit more romantic..........maybe invite XH to a movie this weekend. I'll think about this tomorrow.
(don't worry, he was joking).........and he didn't! He won all 3 games. 
I laughed SO hard that I couldn't hit the ball because he kept looking at me like a cat looks at a mouse. 
XH knows I've started playing in a league and I fill him in on the funny details. The organizer told me I could invite XH to play, but I decided that this is MY thing. MY life. This is for ME!........and I have been having a lot of fun with this!.............XH and I have been playing table tennis together weekly for the last few weeks and plan to play again tomorrow night. Last week, as we walked to our cars, XH brought up the mysterious 'package'. He seems to want to know who sent it and is helping me in a big way to pull together evidence to figure that out. Can't go into detail, but it's clear that XH seems to be invested in figuring out if BMF was involved. It's like we are working on a project together (we always worked great together). In fact, today XH sent me an email in which he wrote that he has a sample of writing from the "alleged bunny boiler" (his words.....thought it was interesting he used this phrase) if I want it for analysis. I appreciate his help because at this point I just want to know who sent it.