Well, a few things have been happening lately with the boy. He started a new job which meant the we haven't been able to spend that much time together but... he has been making no effort as such either. I wrecked myself internally about it (it brought up exh rejection feelings!). He comes home at about 11 and then stays up with the guys and didn't make any effort to spend any alone time with me. I haven't been clingy or anything like that, or showing my feelings but it has been pissing me off and upsetting me.
We did go to Cairns for the weekend and I looked *hot*. People were commenting in the streets to him at what a beautiful girl he had and I felt like he should have been brimming with pride to have me on his arm but I didn't get that from him at all.
Over the past few days he has got a bit better so I said to him that tomorrow, as he wasn't working till later, I had a surprise for an hour at about 11. He said no, he was moving to another hostel tomorrow and he probably wouldn't wake up in the morning. He said he was so tired at the moment that he didn't even want to have sex with me on Sunday (I wasn't even aware we were supposed to be having sex on Sunday!!).
So this is probably bad DB timing, but I went into his room as he was getting ready for work and I just said, 'I'm going to say one thing to you, you nurture something it grows, you ignore it, it dies'. He had a go at me for saying that to him before work and stormed out. In fact he said he had a lot of things going on in his head and 'you want to one thing at the moment and I want to do another and it isn't matching up'. Well, that says it all really hey. So I had a short cry and now I am getting on with life.
I could go into the fact that I think he is feeling over-crowded by people in the hostel, that he did get the same days off as me next week so we could do something but in fact, that is not what I want. I want someone, in fact I deserve someone, that wants to spend time with me, is proud to hug and kiss me in public (not woried about what his mates'll think) and wants to be with me nd won't let anything get in his way. In fact mainly I want to be with someone that I don't feel that I have to Divorce Bust a month in. Am I being unrealistic??
He either steps up now or he doesn't and either way I am getting on with my life.
