Thinking of you, Special K, during this difficult time with your dad. I was there a couple of years ago & know that emotions & thoughts change on a dime right now. So tough to say what you really want to without it coming out like a farewell. Just keep doing what you're doing...honoring and loving him. Telling him that he is the best dad you could have wished for will fill his heart & mean the world to him.
<<"...somedays I want him close to me and others... I just want him out of my life."
This sounds very "normal" to me, showing his love by allowing you to be as you are right now. He's coming thru for you & showing support when you could use it the most.
