I informed our two daughters tonight... It was a tearful event... I have carried this ordeal solo for the last four months... They said I should have told them sooner... They are too upset to call their Mom... They both said they will think on it several days before they call her... MWD says children of all ages are affected by this...
Sandi, I never even HEARD the word "exposure" until I started posting here. That is your all's term, not mine.
My point was to pass along the message that Michele had not approved of the way "exposure" was being used as the only method when dealing with a WAS in an A. It had pretty much be adopted by several people and they were passing that on to the newcomers. So if you learned that word when you stated here, that's why. I wanted to point out that the MB site promots Dr. Harley's teaching about exposure, but Michele doesn't promote it herself.
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I think I posted about telling the truth to your adult children, and the OP's spouse, and not lying to cover up their adultry.
Yes, and my response was to the way you posted. I recognize the language from whence you speak. But don't make peole feel like they are liars and not being honest with their children and keeping dirty secrets covered up. If the man and his W is S,then the kids are going to know something's up. (I'm not sure of the M status at this point.) And if the kids ask questions right then (and some don't want to) then the parent(s) will have to be prepared with their answer. Should the parents act as if everything will be okay and try to give their childen a good family holidy (which might be their last)? Or should they tell them the M is in trouble and they aren't sure what will happen at this point. I have my own opinion about it, but the bottome line is that it's their decision in how much they chose to relay to their children at this particular time. I'm sure you didn't inform your children growing up about everything at once, but instead, you waited to tell them part of the things about like today.....and later, you'll tell them some more. A time and a place. But it doesn't mean these parens are being untruthful.
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In any event, I'm bowing out.
Well, that's your decision.......which you are free to make.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
But don't make peole feel like they are liars and not being honest with their children and keeping dirty secrets covered up.
Sandi,
I can't "make" people feel anything. My OPINION is, that it's splitting hairs to say "don't proactively tell the adult children the truth about their mother's affair, but if asked directly, of course, never lie to your children."
