Ok so heres the back story...we got married 4 years ago. About a year into it we had a son and a year after that we started a long painfull process of buy our 1st home.
During the escrow she and I were living separatly due to issues with having set a move out date at our rental and then escrow went over 80 days and not the 45 days we were promised.
I cheated on her sexually during that time; she found out about it the Monday following Easter of 2009; she and I agreed to work it out and stayed together.
About 4 months ago I answered a w4m ad on craigslist. I didnt initially tell the person that I was married but I did make it clear that I only wanted to be online friends and nothing more.
Last Friday, Oct. 15 she discovered my emotional affair. She is now checking out of the marraige, understandably, and has begun to activly date other men.
Last night I called the OW and told her that I HAD to reconcile and reconnect with my wife and that I couldnt ever talk to her again...I did this in front of my wife.
I thought initially that I only wanted a person to talk to..but in reflecting I am positive that I wanted someone to boost my ego and tell me I was a good person.
My bottom line is that my wife doesnt want to be with me, shes dating other guys and that I DO NOT WANT DIVORCE!
I want to reconnect, reconcile and fall in love with her.
Let her go. She deserves better than you. Be happy for her and give her the divorce she wants and the happines and respect that you are not giving her.
Normally I am pro saving a marriage but honestly, you appear to have issues. Work on those before you even consider your Wife or any other relationship for that matter.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
Buddy, you need to talk to a therapist. Straighten out why you are seeking other women. Then, be honest and sincere to your W.
You've cheated once and your made the move to do it again. If you've not been totally honest with your W about the first A and not worked out your issues, then why should she give you another chance?
H32 Me32 together:10 M:5 No kids ILYBINILWY 7/28/10 OW found 8/15 A exposed 8/31 I Move 9/3 Dark 10/1
Both times I cheated it has been driven by several issues
1 - a neurotic need to feel attactive (Im a bigger guy) 2 - I have a lazy bone, she would get pissed and yell at me which would in turn bring up my self-hate issues 3 - The self-hate issues became a pity party and insted of looking at her need, I focused on mine 4 - That focus, selfish in nature, intensified the neurotic need
I wasnt totally honest about the 1st A...she had to discover the truth herself and then drag the confession out of me.
This time around she discovered it and I laid it all out, I even called the woman I had the EA with while standing in my Ws presense and told th OW that I couldnt ever talk to her again becuase I had to be commited to reconciling and reconnecting with my W.
While I generally agree with the above statements let me ask you this.
Have have you done to atone for your infidelity? Why are you worth it to her to take you back? Have you ever cheated on another woman? Why should she trust you?
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
I still wear my wedding ring. I come home every night I try my best to serve her, to do little things I give her my paycheck I am trying to show her by action that I want to work it out
Why am I worth it...she says that she still sees greatness in me, she even said that she may consider dating me in the future. I have never cheated before...and I dont know why..other than by my example/actions why she should trust me
