Oh Aver! (((((Hugs)))))) I too have been wanting & wanting to post, but no time! We remain twins! Part of it being busy, and part of it just processing, maybe taking baby steps away from the board. But I always intend to come back! I feel like I owe so many on here for their support, plus, I still need you, & everyone!
Aver, I can't improve on what Antlers posted. He is right, and as painful as this must be you know you are stronger than this situation. You deserve so much better than it. You know this, the fact is you don't know what is going w X & OW. (yes I'll still call her that!) You don't know, maybe he's happy, maybe he's not. Not your problem! You have every right to grieve, again. And I am so sorry you have to go through more pain. I believe if you decided that you did want kids (not that you do/will), you can still make that choice for yourself.
I can tell you are so much further along, even w this latest development, by your upbeat opening. You are doing stuff you love. I wish for you that you could not know/hear/think about your X for a long time. Say 6-12 months. Easier said than done, possibly. For me, since that was H's choice that we stop speaking/communicating (I have not seen or spoken to him in person since Nov. 09! Almost 1 year!) He is pretty much a stranger. It's easier & it's harder. It sure makes things final though.
No going back, for me either. Let's go forward. It's better for us there. Take comfort in your frineds & lean on your C, and do those things that help you. You have to grieve, but at some point, try thought stopping or those exercises to force your mind to think of other things. I think RW had some good posts on those techniques a while back. You are going to come out of this final stage of pain, you will & you will heal
I am with you, and I know other friends on here are too. I'll update you (no D yet! But S agrment is signed) soon, promise. Have to stop these crazy 10 - 12 hr. work days. Thinking of you & sending lots of support & healing thoughts. ((((((Aver)))))))
