Admitting is not taking responsibility. That's what I meant when I said throw it back in his court. Just because he admits it, doesn't mean he accepts that it is HIS fault, not yours. It was his choice, not yours. As AntoniaB said, he rationalizing so he can walk out the door. If it's all your fault, then it's ok to do what he's doing. You need to keep saying that you're willing to accept your responsibility but he will need to do it to. That means owning his choice to rip his family to pieces.
It's really a classic passive aggressive move. I don't have the courage to fix my marriage or leave it so I create a problem that makes the other person have to deal with it. What a grown up thing to do!
The good news is they do hear you when you speak the truth to them so keep saying it.
