MLC=Twilight Zone/When do I wake up?

[warriorshadow]

Jack we are just glad to see you back.

I will tell you this:

I am blessed to be around these folks. They really have no

clue on how much they help me. Feel free to give advice

anytime. Of course your advice is valuable to me. Always was.

The minute I start to feel like I have a handle on this,

the game switches into unfamiliar territory. I guess it

would not be a journey without that excitement would it?

Of course I want to minimize the amount of mistakes that I make

in the future and man do I have some of the coolest people to

run with here. I hope I can help them in return. I get the

pay it forward philosophy and hope I can contribute something

of value to anyone who finds their way here.

[ericmsant2]

However I think if anyone feels 'stung' or sees that as a personal attack, they need to figure out why. It wasn't.

I interpreted this as J3B being "nice"

[dl443322]

Jack, nope, no sting here. My post was just me contemplating that I might have seemed as if I was trying to force an issue which is not how I like to post.


But if there was any in MY post that stung you, feel free to analyze that for yourself. LOL!

[PEI]

Warrior ...

I'm taking this over from Irish's thread ...
********************************************

However, it does not get thrown out the window for us.

We are the ones standing because this is the "worse".

At the same time, we have been given this opportunity to

look at ourselves and find the things that we have lost

in ourselves because of the marriage and the patterns

we allowed ourselves to create.

So you do get the chance to become your best person as you state.

So you can choose to use this time wisely and become that better

Irish that I can see is in YOU or you have the choice to just

keep doing the same thing again in the next relationship whether

it is with your H or someone else.

My W was my best friend through this as well. We started a

friendship before we got married. We certainly did not marry

based on sex.

You state being a really healthy couple. I thought we were.

I bet you thought the same thing with your M.

Looking back now, I realize that the marriage did have some

faults. We could have continued on and I still would have been

happy. But at the same time, I had to give up a lot to keep

my W happy in order for me to stay happy. That is not a good

trade. No one should have to be the pivotal person to make or

break a relationship.

That is what I do not want to go back to. The only way that

my W is going to get through this and end up with me is if

she can find that happiness is found within. Not from external

sources. I have to let her find that. If she does not figure

that out, my M will become a prison again. A prison that I let

happen. I let myself believe that is what all marriages are

like. I let myself believe that this is what it is meant by

marriages are hard work. I still think marriages are hard work.

But not the way that I was working it. That had to stop. It took

this crisis to stop it. I am just beginning to see some of this

8 months after bomb.

I hope this helps.

Warrior

[PEI]

^^^^^^^ All I can say my friend ... is WHOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!

Your journey is just beginning ...

So proud of you

PEI

[ericmsant2]

Warrior

You sound like a different man.

So now my friend, what dreams is warrior going to live for warrior. Not for with his BOYS but FOR his boys. What man does Warrior really want to be?

Keep pushing keep living...

You got this.

Now my friend it is time. Time for warrior to stop reaction, responding to what she does and time for Warrior to be!

Eric

[warriorshadow]

Thanks Eric and PEI,

You brought tears to my eyes as I read both of your posts.

Think last weekend had any impact on me? Eh? Eventually

you get sick of being sick and tired. I have a long way to

go. I need more of Grits ribs. I need a beer with that.

I know I have lots of challenges ahead of me. I can't think

of anyone I would want to be around more than you guys right now.

I am getting small glimpses of what things could be like in the

future. They are only very small glimpses though. The pain is

still keeping me in a fog. I know what I have to do to keep

pushing forward. I would not still be on this board if it were

not for you folks. There is magic here. You just have to get

yourself in a place to experience it. Nobody has the special

password or secret handshake to make you see this.

So now it is time to move forward. I have a chance to create

the coolest future limited by only myself around people who

GET IT. If you truly think about this, that is a gift that nobody

I know (in my neck of the woods) gets to receive. I have

received help here from people that did not even know me just

a few months ago. I am blessed to be a part of others lives

besides my own here. The family and friends that are near me

can't possibly get this without experiencing it for themselves.

I sometimes feel the same pity that MHL states he sees from

family and friends because they love me and don't want to see

me suffer. Can I blame them? No way can I blame them for feeling

like this. I get this type of thing from my own 12 year old son!!

He is apologizing for his mom and telling me he is sorry that I

am going through this. I hate that he has to feel sorry for me.

That alone is enough for me to just keep moving forward for me.

[Truegritter]

Warrior

You are a good man.

I am so happy to read your words up there becuase I can hear in them a new faith.

For yourself and

in yourself.

You have everything inside you my friend to make your life as amazing as you can dream it to be.

Your boys will see that as the grow into men.

Keep steppin' buddy. You are on the right path.

Good for you.

[FaithnAK]

I know I have lots of challenges ahead of me. I can't think

of anyone I would want to be around more than you guys right now.

It's one hell of a support group.

You mention you feel pain, but you are also getting better.

What are you doing with the pain when you feel it?

I'm going to tell you what I was told at the beginning and still took me 2 months to get to. GO TO THE GYM. It works.

Instead of coping with the pain via outward anger(Not that you are doing this) and pain or turning it inward, learn to release it. Just the power of exercise can make everything a little better.

I haven't read your sitch, maybe you are doing this already. If you're not, I can't even begin to tell you how much it will relieve pain/stress/anger. You have to just do it and see for yourself. It will also make you stronger through this situation. Not just muscle, but emotional strength.

Did you read the "No More Mr Nice Guy" book yet?

[MHL]

Warrior,

I think you have this,

just remember this all takes TIME.

Time for it to sink in and become part of you.

You can't rush it, you will know when it happens.

You are well on your way!!!!!

Cheers