Hi Brook,

I agree this is not an easy issue. Your logic makes TOTAL sense

for a rational person.

However, we are not dealing with a rational person.

Maybe Eric is right on the money with all of it.

It's not like she is taking advantage of me for a nice meal.

The money comes out of both our pockets. We still have joint

accounts. Always have had joint accounts.

I know everyone is looking out for me and I appreciate that.

This dinner thing might just be a disguise for whatever she

has on her mind.

I am getting advice from people who do not have a live in spouse.

That is about to change in 10 days.

My life will surely change at that point. I am kind of looking

forward to that.

Then Warrior will have to LIVE HIS LIFE. Thank you Eric.

I will have to admit that all of this is not easy.

I have 3 wonderful boys that deserve the best in life.

They also see me and watch my interaction with my W.

Oldest S12 Just asked me yesterday, "Dad I don't get it.

Why does mom want a divorce when only a couple of years ago

she was asking YOU if you would ever leave her. Like YOU would

have been the one making a divorce happen." I gave her no reason

to feel that way. Quite the contrary actually. These kids are

smart. Oldest is totally aware of the change in W now.

When W said those things a few years back, it was an insecurity

that she had inside of her. That is common among MLC'rs from

what I read. They never feel good enough etc,etc.

This is the part that goes back to their childhood. Particularly

their dad. You can say I love you, you are a wonderful wife,

wonderful mother etc. But, they don't really believe you because

of the part of them that did not get that affirmation in

childhood.

Okay, I am not a PHD on this. But I am going to tread lightly

and carefully. I did not come all this way to just say F@ck it.

Communication lines must stay open for at least my kids sake.

Yes, I may suffer a bit.

I also can not be closing doors when I am not ready to close

doors. That would mean I am truly done. I am not there yet.

MLC does not go away after separation or divorce.

I get what Eric says about expectations.

I also know from my experience lately, that information that I

may not of been aware of lately gets leaked from my W.

My W seems not to even realize this. I could tell so many stories

I just don't want to bore everyone. She says things without

thinking as far as I can tell and forgets conversations, where

she left her keys, important papers, phone, (lost two cell phones since MLC started).

Gee, I could go on and on.

I get to hop off the rollercoaster when she moves out.

The dynamics will change a bit. I can see by Missherlove that

things are still a huge challenge just different. I am sure

you guys will be there while I adjust.

Sometimes I think we give the MLC'r too much credit.

They really are messed up.

Yes I am focusing way to much on W.

I had to in my mind to get to this point.

At the same time, I am kind of journalling so I can look back

at this some day. If I could not tell you guys about the wacky

parts of this, I would not have anything to post.

I can do the get a life part.

I can do the fix the Warrior part.

But I do want to tell the wacky stories for those out there

who may see something similar in what they are experiencing.

I have been reaping from these boards for a long time.

I should sow once in a while.