A new Start to a bad ending.

[Coach]

Boy this really did hit a raw nerve.

Of course spouses share in marriage problems.

Who said they didn’t?

So you agree then that the betrayed spouse does bear some responsibility for the breakdown in the marriage.

But….

The infamous “but.”

if your spouse makes the decision to have an affair and cheat on you, that is a decision they made, you had no say in that decision. If they exercise the power to make decisions such as these, they also have responsibility for those same actions.

Agreed - perhaps you are under the impression this was not understood.

No it's about boundaries, behavior that isn't acceptable in a marriage. The WAS has a choice.
MWD advocates
180s - stop being a Nice Guy.

Perhaps you feel that the only way to have boundaries or to stop being a “nice guy” is to be the “tough guy”.

Drop the rope- agree with them, yep this marriage isn't working for me either, you are free to go if you choose.

This is not what the man in the scenario did however.

GAL - respecting and valuing yourself is a great start

Absolutely. Maybe you are under the impression that there is only one way that can be done.

Healthy boundaries one one thing - while it may make sense that being a “tough guy” is a 180 from being a “nice guy.” Its not necessarily so, however. It is easy to confuse being "tough" for having healthy boundaries.

I didn't call it tough love I was quoting you.