Would she want to go out to dinner with me for any reason if she was serious with anybody else at this point?
I suspect that you believe this statement. Chit I know I did…THEN….well the rest is history.
Mach and other have given you some very good advice. What I see is actually some of the same chit I still struggle with my friend and that is that you think that she is still the same women that was married to you. Sorry to say she is not and nor will she ever be. A hard realization that we must all come to grips with – myself included.
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Is she going to go to dinner with me out of sheer guilt?
Guilt? Do you actually think she feels any guilt? Do you? Really Guilt?
Okay maybe she feels a little guilt BUT that IMO is not what dinner is about. I suspect that what she want to do is to “see if you are okay”. Yep, she knows this chit is killing you. She’s not stupid. If I were a betting man I would suspect that the convo may end up going in the direction of WHY she is doing what she is doing. I suspect that she will look for you to “understand” why she is doing, “understand” how much she tried and that this is really about her.
You see, IF you agree and understand…well then she will have no guilt- At least not now.
Oh another reason for dinner – hey maybe she wants to have a nice meal. Have you suggested Mickey D’s to her and see if she is still interested?
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If I don't go to dinner with my W because she steps forward and initiates the request, doesn't that make me an a**hole if I don't go?
No it does not make you and as*hole. Matter of fact, it makes you someone who can be respectful and still decline her request because YOU decided for YOU that YOU did not want to go. Honestly, you must get to a place where YOU really don’t give a chit about how she feels to some extent. I am not saying be a prick just that her needs no longer matter UNLESS YOU really want to do something nice. The only way to get to this place, Warrior is to truly detach, let go and really begin to live your life. It really is the only way. Having said this, I still struggle with it.
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and guess who said she had no expectations? Guess who was full of sh!t?
This ^^^^^ pretty much sums up my first response to YOU. Look man, I’m calling bullchit. You expect to find out where she is at. Deep down inside you hope that she sees your new way of being and snaps out of it. That’s fine. I know why you feel this way. Problem is that you are going to spiral downward. You are going to hurt. You can say Nah…I’ll be fine – I know better. I lived it. Fuc* I still live it. So accept that you have expectation. Do the best you can to keep them as low as you can AND then…..
Learn from this.
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If I knew that it was cake eating, I would have handled all of my responses differently.
Really…would you have. Warrior, I hope your W is not having an A. I really do. If you come to find out – YOU are going to be REALLY ANGRY.
Nothing you say to yourself, nothing YOU say to me, nothing you plan for will help. It will be pure rage.
Expect it!
The thought our your W f*cking someone else is probably one of the most painful experiences of my life.
I wish you the best at dinner Warrior – I do.
After dinner do me a favor…
Go live YOUR life!
Stop looking at your W
Stop looking at her actions
Fu*k stop talking to the IC about her.
Just go be Warrior….Prince of Persia!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
