Capiche my friend. My expectation now is that she will probably

blow it off and we won't be going to dinner. I will keep you posted

on that.

Look,

I know she has a long way to go on this. The way I see it, things

are going to get worse before they get better that is IF they get

better.

The dinner thing is truly because of our Anniversary. Why she

wants to acknowledge the anniversary is beyond me. That is what

I keep trying to tell you guys. This has been very whacked from

the start. I know she had already acknowledged that the marriage

is over. That is clear. Why she still wants to go out to dinner

at this point is confusing to me. But hey, If an MLC'r is

confused, does it not stand to reason that their behavior is

confusing? My IC, who both W and I see once a week has told

me many times that my W is confused.

So for me, I would agree that my W is confused. Confusion=MLC.

So yes I have a choice. Do I risk hurting myself by going?

I don't have much to lose. I already have no expectations so

what's left?

Here is what I get from this:

Would she want to go out to dinner with me for any reason if

she was serious with anybody else at this point? Is she going

to go to dinner with me out of sheer guilt? Is it another

platform to hear the crazy rationalization spew forth? Is it

for another "The children will be fine speech?"

I sure can't get in her head right now, but I will tell you this:

Every time I have any real conversation with my W, small amounts

of information that sometimes surprises me leaks out. If I don't

go to dinner with my W because she steps forward and initiates

the request, doesn't that make me an a**hole if I don't go?

If I truly believe that my W is in crisis, and I do, this becomes

a no brainer for me. Is 8 months of hearing the spew, projection,

and nonsense enough experience to make it through a dinner?

I still have a few "I am sorry you feel that way"'s left in

me.

I really appreciate the input from both of you, Mach and Eric.

Oh and BTW, she really wanted the dinner to occur on the night

of the anniversary. She stated that fact. But, because of our

schedules, ability to get a sitter in one day, teacher

conferences, etc. There is no way it can happen tomorrow night.

That is why we both agreed to find a night next week that would

work.

Keep the comments coming, it always makes me think.



As I step through this minefield, I can only really find

the shortest, safest way through, those who have come before me.