Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[HopelessInLove]

Yes, yes. I know that I messed up by telling W about that little legal issue. In my thoughts of DB'ing, she speaks of not trusting me. There are many levels of trust and what may help my sitch more than another. The kids IMO should not be leveraged. I threw that bone her way. L also went into detail how W is at huge financial risk, I chose not to tell her that, which is my Ace in the hole. I need to stall her from going to L. Thus, I put very little pressure on A. Again which she is denying. Surprise, Surprise!

The conversation I heard through intel was that OM could be losing intereest in W. Is the A not going to last? If I say to her that I will not allow an open M without having proof, which I have, but can not expose without her losing more trust for me then I am losing the ground which so far is a little more firm than it could have been from last night's exchange. I beleive that she understands I am aiming right at OM, since I have named him many times and have pointed out her failings to be honest with me about his presence in the first place and now the 2nd time. I will confront the boundry issue on OM when the time is right for the situation surrounding kids. I don't think W would have handled everything all at once well. She threatened L once before, maybe pushing that issue extremely hard could have been bad for M/R. IDK. If she was up front, she said she does not have L yet. It will take her 2 weeks for her to get into see one. By then kids custody should be a moot point.

TH, you may be exactly right, could have dealt with it better. I can only learn from this. I am always open for discussion to help me speak more effectively and with W.

Great input!