Still needing some encouragement

[kissak]

You know...I sit here and argue with myself about that.

At first I would say Im afraid of being alone, then I remember that I am not alone and never will be, because I have God in my life. Also I remind myself that I have been by myself before and I did just fine. So, no IM not afraid of that. Got guys just waiting for my H to mess up again so they can have a chance with a great gal

Second I wonder if Im afraid that he will find someone else. He has been with someone else before when we were separated and that was the HARDEST thing for me. I hated it. Im afraid of those feelings coming back.

Im afraid of struggling financially. I struggled before while he was gone and ran up alot of debt I hadnt had prior to him leaving. Business is slower than it use to be and Im afraid of losing everything...although then I remember that I have my Lord there to help me through anything.

Im afraid of letting go and giving up. To me to let go means to completely give up any hope. That would be the only way I could move on with my life. That, I am afraid of.

What if I stay just a little longer...what if I give up just before my prayers are answered? What if everything would have been ok if I just gave it more time?

Im afraid of being with someone else. I have been with my H for sooo long. He was my first bf. Married him right out of HS. It took me to years after he left to work up the courage to go on a date with someone. I werent ready then. It was weird. I cried for the rest of the night when the date was over. It felt so wrong. Im afraid of never being able to love someone else.

These are the fears I battle with.