When my W was full of CB, running around town drinking with younger men, neglecting our pets and family, I was fuming at home.
"Where you've been, how could you do this, you are bad irresponsible disrespectful person, etc, ect." got me nowhere.
The answer was "It's none of your business, I don't like you, we are not together anymore, blah, blah, blah."
So when things calmed down a bit and she got better because of my efforts to detach, I decided to reward the good behavior by telling her how much more pleasant she had become and how attractive that was to me.
I excpected to get "Whatever, I don't care what you think, etc."
But instead she suddenly wanted to do more. Some of the CB continued, so one day I said "You were doing so well for awhile, how can I help you to continue that trend?"
Not only that is stopped all the CB, I also received full transparency without ever asking for it. She offered me to read her e-mail, texts, recent calls. She wanted to prove me that she had stopped behaving badly.
