It wasn't really that long ago that I would have done anything for my H to move home...now I really don't want my H to live with me until more changes...if they will!
You know I've thought the same thing too - for so long I have thought that I would do ANYTHING to get my H to come back to me. I still love my H - even after the last 3 years of he**, but I've recently let my eyes be open, and have thought about what I want - deserve even - from a relationship/marriage. I think in the beginning of all of this I would have abandoned what I wanted to save my family (in actuality that was how I was living before the bomb drop - which lead to my unhappiness and thus fueled my H's MLC). It's been very slow for me, but I know that what I want needs to be a priority - and I think you KNOW that too.
Try not to concentrate too much on the ticking D-day. It's hard to tell you to be patient - because it has been such a long journey, but let yourself appreciate and understand what you need out of this relationship (to make it a real marriage) and don't let a date on the calendar make you settle for less than what you deserve. Only you can decide (not a piece of paper) whether you are done (or not)- so you do have the power.
Think about how far you have come and what is important to YOU. I hope your H can make those changes and re-commit. I really want that for you - if that is still what YOU want.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I want for myself - but as a mother, I have also thought about my children and the kind of relationships I want for them some day. I've worried about what they might be taking from this experience - with me still standing with no encouragement, and mostly instances of disrespect and odd behavior from H. I would never want them to think any of this is acceptable. I'm digressing and will stop here (LOTS more to work on for myself!!).
I'm glad you posted the update and continue to wish you all the best!!
Di an a mo
"Do not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness." - James Thurber
