Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[HopelessInLove]

About a month ago, discussed with W about coming home. She threatened a L if I came back. I got the impression I should look into protecting myself. Spoke to L and she stated I move back in because of losing 50-50 custody of kids. I moved back in without discussing this time. W was over-whelmed and she spouted off that "don't you think we should have discussed before you did this." I referenced the discussion a month ago. She denies that we had that conversation. "I don't remember."

W continues to talk about trusting me. W best friend a number of years ago went through a very nasty D and she trusted her H up until D was final. She then had a tragic event in her life this past Christmas with her father's death within 2 months of a diagnosis of cancer, and my W tried to help her the best she could. My W empathized with her sadness and then W started to go through the pain her friend was going through. Now that GF has been telling her things and is validating W in feeling like she should not trust me. I know I am over thinking, but just annoyed at her GF.

I brought up trust to W. I told her that I know of the other phone she now has and is calling OM. She did say that the talk and that was it. I asked if she had feelings for this OM and she deflected by saying he has a serious GF/fiance and they are trying to figure out the next step in there R. I know the truth that she has feelings for him.

I gave her information that the L gave me. If she continues to need to find something to trust me about. I told her that if she wants to lose some custody of kids that move out and then file for D the courts would side with me on the kids. She then stated I am triying to pin her with no options but to stay in the relationship. I told her that she was free to do whatever she wants. It is her life.

Then she started to ask me about myself. W- You have been so secretive I don't know who you are anymore. I said if you want to know what is going on with me than you can ask me. And that is what she did. I did ask her questions about her but did not ask for specifics, except about OM.

W was so tired that she feel asleep on the couch at 9 pm for an hour. She had a lot of school work to do, though. I did not wake her. I am not going to be responsible for her. I did some laundry of mine and kids, and then ironed. W woke up and lit into about what I was doing. She got ready for bed and I said good night, finished my things, and slept on the couch.

This morning got up at my normal 5:20 to work out and then got ready for my day. I was done getting ready when W returned from her workout. Again she started into me. About what I am doing now has never been like me. You never used to do this or that. And now you are?? I guess one night she my be seeing things and is really confused now.

Staying calm, working on myself, focusing on the kids, and GAL.

I am controlling what I can control.