(((((SoAshamed))))) Maybe it's a losing battle. But, the bigger battle is one you can win. You can get yourself right. You can understand how you got here, and make sure that you do what you need to to make sure that you don't fall into the same traps again. You can take care of yourself.
I still think it is possible, perhaps not likely, that you can reconcile. You will have to give him time and space, probably a lot of it. You will have to be your best, so that when he looks out of the corner of his eye, figuratively and literally, he likes what he sees. You can't pursue him, you can't pressure him. And while you are at it, don't pressure yourself.
Jeff, Thank you for your kind words. I'm not closing the door to reconciliation. I'm not pressuring either. I do feel like telling him that our attorneys, and his employer are trying to pit us against each other, but I will just keep my mouth closed for now. (The employer thing is a whole new ball of wax that I won't even bother going into the details for now.
