Albuquerque living

[PEI]

Thanks for stopping by VH. I think you're right. I will try to pull back slightly but it IS difficult. He's ALWAYS said that the most attractive thing about me was my brain. And just recently he's said NUMEROUS times that it was a CONVERSATION that we had that really made him miss me. So I'm working to be as available as possible and offer him plenty of conversation opportunities. At the same time though, I agree it may seem like pressure even though I'm working my hardest to make it not seem that way. I still have not initiated any of our R talk and still let him contact me first. He took me up on my offer of reading the DB book so I'll see if he actually tackles it. I won't ask and I'll try to give him space tomorrow. I'll even keep IM off.

Remember to do what works, and what seemed to work to draw him back towards you was you being independant and getting on with your life. I agree with VH, way too available. And you admit to working at it to be that way. Alb, work on YOU, I don't hear anymore talk about your own issues that you want to address, the skeletons in your own closet, the issues you brought to the table that contributed to the dynamic. Return your focus to YOU. He needs to find his fixes on his own, regardless of how fabulously attractive he finds your brain Space has to exist, not for a day, but for a lifetime, enough breathing room to be comfortable and independant.

He did show up for dinner tonight and it went well but we've definitely taken a step back in our physicality. It just feels wrong given the turmoil I know is going on in his head. *sigh*

Good. Not sure if you read my thread or not, but this sent red flags up for me. And honestly, you think the adults here are confused, what about your D?

One of the biggest temptations for the LBS is to over-engage when the WAS starts to reach out ... it's easy to do. Let him lead the contact, continue to validate, don't allow any cake eating and continue to focus on YOU. Keep on truckin'...

Peace
PEI