A new Start to a bad ending.

[ArnieBGood]

Wow - that really struck a nerve.

I don't understand the point you are making.

Perhaps you would be open, then, to hearing what was meant.

Waiting and being patient with a spouse who is cheating on you NEVER WORKS.

You might be right about that. And if you read Chapter 7 of DR, esp. pp. 215-218, MWD evidently feels that it does sometimes work. I was under the impression that this forum was based on the principles and ideas put forth by her in DB/DR, etc. I might be mistaken about that, however.

There is a method that DOES WORK more times than it fails.

Again, please explain what is meant by "work." In the quote the marriage was broken without any chance of healing - and while the wife may have learned something, the husband certainly didn't.

Those who question the tough response to a cheating spouse and question whether there really is a one size fits all approach are just too afraid to do what works, and would rather continue doing what doesn't work.

So you are convinced that no other approach will lead to a fulfilling and happy relationship.

In a marriage where one of the spouses is having an affair, husband or wife, the responsibility of those actions, lies with them, plain and simple.

This is certainly true - that is their choice, and nobody has 'made' them be unfaithful. Perhaps you also believe that the unfaithful spouse is the only one who has contributed to the breakdown of the relationship.

I certainly agree that being a doormat is not an effective approach. Perhaps you are under the impression that it is the only alternative to the "tough response."