[NotFromThesePart]

Thank you for your response but I don’t think being belligerent will help matters.

Dug,

A month ago I would have agreed with you. Sex is sex. Love is "different". I hate that my wife cheated, but after all, it was just sex. I can forgive that. Right? Well, maybe. Maybe for YOU, but that does not mean she feels the same.

She WANT'S you to want her. Yes, she WANT'S you to be jealous. If she can have sex with anyone she wants to with no consequences, what else can she do? What are your boundaries? She doesn't know. Do you respect people that walk all over you? Would you expect her to?

Let me ask you a question. What if you wife brought this buy home and he gave you $50 and he “said take the kids to a movie, we should only be a couple hours”. What would your reaction be? What if it were two guys at the same time?

Yes, for some people open marriages can work. Are you one? If you are, I suggest telling her. If not, tell her that too. Setting boundaries is a way to show her you love her and yourself. That you won't put up with just anything. That you are a catch and you know it.

Do you have to be belligerent? No. But you need to show that 1) she is important to you and 2) you have your limits. Exceeding them has consequences.

Will I forgive my wife? Yes, but only if she deserves it. Even though it is “just sex” she has broken her vows. I don’t take that lightly.

I could go back to my house but that would accomplish nothing but create tension.

So what is wrong with tension? Hasn't she created tension in your live? I know you love her but she needs to see there are consequences. A little tension in her is a GOOD thing.