Slowly, it gets closer to resolution. Frustratingly slowly, but closer. Another suspended court appearance. The Mouthpiece thinks she's "close" to reaching a deal with the Other Side. I hope so. I'm tired of having to listen to STBX.
She's recently latched onto the idea of bifurcation and has asked the court for it -- and she'll get it. The burden-of-proof is on the Respondent to show why the court shouldn't terminate a marriage that is "obviously" and "irredeemably" unsalvageable.
The Mouthpiece thinks it's emotional; I think it's strategic -- once she gets a legal divorce without resolution of the financial matters, the incentive structure for addressing those financial matters will change in her favor because the termination of married status removes an important motivation for negotiation.
I think it's strategic because STBX is still revising, rewriting, revisiting, redefining, renaming, rewhatevering.
Now The Story is -- get this -- I left her.
That was a puzzler. But apparently what she "really" wanted, this time last year, was to work on putting the marriage back together. She didn't say anything about that at the time. She didn't take any action toward that end at the time. She didn't let the presumptive desire to do so get in the way of her desire for Signore Schmuckatelli.
Shorter STBX: She didn't want me to mind-read, except when she did; she didn't want to have affairs, except when she did.
Hey. If that's The Story that gets her through the day, that's swell. I read the notes and generally don't respond unless there's a specific, child-related reason to do so.
Unfortunately I had to have a personal interaction with her after a parent-teaching conference. I turned to walk away from the parking lot afterward, when she called out from her car, Hey, can I ask you a question?
"Sorry, can't. Late."
It won't take long.
"Really behind schedule now."
One minute. Come on!
"*Sigh* Fine. What?"
I've just been thinking a lot about the last year, and I was wondering what you think it would've taken to reconcile.
"There's no point in discussing that. Anything else?"
No, seriously, I want to know.
Sheesh. So I said the first thing that came to mind -- that it would be a lot of work to rebuild trust.
Well what does that mean?
At this point irritated, I said, "I don't know -- you know -- figure it out. Take your 'Girl's Weekends' with your singleton friends in Vegas. That kind of thing would be pretty intolerable."
Hoo-boy. You'd think I slapped her and then stole her lollipop. I truly am free! I never would have stood for that! Who are you, God?!? Am I your prisoner?!? I am so happy to know that! Now I know it never would have happened! That is so completely unreasonable! Typical!
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time, STBX.
So I kept my eye on the sparrow, rubbed my head, and said, "Alrighty then, good to know, glad that's settled."
It's sort of sad. STBX is still trying to construct a narrative that explains it all. I just wish she'd get remarried and become someone else's problem. That'll be fun to watch.
