Now I'm Walking Away Part 3

[pookie69]

Pin.

There will always be plenty of 20/20 hindsight to go around.

Don't you think that you moving out would still have a similar effect on her?

I don't think you wasted time. You got to learn more about your sitch and her motives. You learned something.

We can't change past so why wonder about could'ves would'ves and maybes.

All roads lead to Rome.

[pinhead]

Oh, I don't look back too much. XYZ made me think about it a bit, then you asked me. Past is prologue and all that.

[pookie69]

So mathematically moving out now will work just as well as back then.

You're just a little older now.

That damn time we can't stop.

[robx]

What happened to "I'll do anything for my children"? She can't go away for a 2 day weekend for her children?

Lotus you should know just like the rest of us,
that the WAS tends to have their head in a fog,
how would you convince a WAS who is intent on leaving and having affairs to go away to a retrouvaille weekend with you, a weekend specifically intended to save your marriage - I don't see too many WAS's agreeing to that, there is no motivation and reward for them from their point of view, it goes against what they're trying to accomplish with leaving the marriage.

IMHO, a retro weekend benefits spouses in rocky marriages before one of them has made the decision to leave, you can ask a WAS to go to a retro weekend with you but the odds are against you with regards to them agreeing and actually going.

It's too tough a sell at that point.

[TimeHeals]

That damn time we can't stop.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

[pinhead]

I guess she's not a WAS anymore since she's willing to stay, but for all the wrong reasons. More meltdowns last night, mostly because she can't understand why I won't stay until our debt is paid off (2 years).

[gutwrenching]

Any way this is just her way of getting you stick around so you can see how good it can be? With the role reversal (you being the WAS and her the LBS) could she possibly have the right reasons to stay and is now grasping at anything to kick the can down the road?

[pinhead]

I don't know. Last night she said again that I could date if I wanted to. This morning she said she was upset about not being able to count on me, rely upon me as a friend.

[pookie69]

I don't know. Last night she said again that I could date if I wanted to. This morning she said she was upset about not being able to count on me, rely upon me as a friend.

Sounds like she is very confused over her feelings.

What can you do to help her get it straight?

[pinhead]

I'm leaving. She'll have lots of time to think about them. I'm giving her the space she asked for in June.