^^^^^^ This

My WAW cannot see that while OM is not the cause of our problems, ridding herself of him is the FIRST step in solving them. When I tell her she must end it. That he is a problem, she can't see that I understand we have other, BIGGER problemns.

You need to be very clear on this. BOTH parts. You'll likely need to say it a dozen times.

M:37
W:34
M:4 years
T:6 years
No Kids
A disclosed - 9/1/2010
W asks for separation - 10/19/2010
Moving on - 10/24/2010
A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010
Content - 3/1/2011
Served - 3/18/2011
D Day - 6/20/2011