In need of some major support right now. H was at the house this afternoon b/c he picked up DS8 from school. He started bawling his eyes out and said he doesn't know who he is and that he needs to find himself. He told me for sure now that he came back 4 years ago and shouldn't have, that he told himself if he thought positive, and spoke positive (in other words, lie to me this whole time) it would all work out and he would be happy, we would be happy. He is not happy (which I already know)and that he believes that all these years together (12) he tried to be a man that he is not capable of being and thus the reason for his depression. That he tried to be what I wanted and lost himself in the process. He said we need to sit down and talk about the divorce, etc... That he isn't blaming me, but yet he is still indirectly blaming me. He said he feels nothing for me other than he loving me as the mother of his children. He said I'm 41 years old and I have NOTHING. I don't even know how to be a good dad.
