Finding My Way

[Mystik]

Not feeling so sad today. Still praying each day, sometimes more than once, for strength and guidance to do what is the right thing.

Called the lawyer today, he wants me to call him back at his office on Wednesday morning to set up an in-office consultation and when I go to bring copies of H's e-mails where he's trying to blackmail me. I also need to put together a wish-list of everything I want. Other than my money back I would like to be able to claim DS each year on my taxes. DS lives with me, I am the primary care-giver, I want to be able to claim him. Oh, and for Whore to not be allowed to pick up DS from school. Other than that I don't have much that I want.

[Abbey]

Good start. *Hugs*

[Mystik]

Trying to figure out what should be on my "wish list" that I have to bring to the lawyer.

So far I have:

• be able to claim DS on my taxes every year
• Whore not allowed to pick up DS from school
• Have him pay what he owes for the car insurance

We both have retirement accounts so he'll most likely put in the papers to relinquesh rights to one another's account. He'll also most likely put in that we each take accountability for our cars. Other than that we have no other assets that I can think of. The house was sold, we have no investment accounts.

[Virtually_Handsome]

I think you had better be prepared to let go of #2. Even if you got it in there, I don't think you'd ever have any reasonable way to enforce it, and in the end, you can't control it.

I know it will drive you nuts, but if Whore is in his life for the long term, she is going to be around DS, if she isn't, it won't really be an issue.

[Mystik]

Once H has DS, I can't control who he is around, much as I would like to. But as far as who picks him up from school, if there's a court order barring someone from getting DS the daycare won't let him go. What really pi$$es me off about H wanting Whore to pick him up is that H is essentially too lazy to do it himself. Tough crap. You are his father, it is your responsibility to pick him up. To find it an inconvenience is appalling.

[Virtually_Handsome]

Yeah, but do you really want the daycare place to have to deal with that? I understand your feelings, I just think it might not be the hill to die on. On the other hand, if he doesn't fight it, go for it!

I would say, he is the father, it's his responsibility to make sure that someone responsible picks him up. There's a difference.

[courageous wife]

Hi Mystik

I totally understand you not wanting OW to pick up DS and as a parent, you have the right to say who can or cannot pick up your child especially if you are the custodial parent but be careful...this is where you want to choose your battles carefully...

[Mystik]

My plan is to file for him to be responsible for all transportation of DS, including to/from home for his visits. No more of this meeting in the middle because H can't be bothered to drive DS all the way home crap. Then I'll hit him with no Whore picking up DS. And if he agrees to no Whore then I'll agree to continue meeting in the middle for exchanges.

[Mystik]

H was 20 minutes late dropping DS off tonight. And again, did not bring him home with a jacket. He said DS left it at school. So I told him "What about the red jacket? You didn't send it home with him on Sunday." He said he didn't know he still had that. Then he said to me, "I know awkward and all but it's going to happen anytime in the next couple of weeks so you might be getting a call to get DS." I think tomorrow I'm going to e-mail him telling him to stop talking to me about it, when DS is with him I don't care what happens as long as DS is returned to me at the scheduled time.

Met with the lawyer tonight, he gave me some tips on how to fill out the petitions for court. Said to keep in touch with him between now and the court date to work out how to proceed in court.

[Mystik]

This is not what I want. I don't want to have to take H to court. But I just cannot afford to eat $1,600. I'll most likely not see any of the money and only increase the animosity/hatred H feels towards me.

This whole situation just sucks. I want to scream and cry and beat something with a stick at the unfairness of it all. I'm his wife, it should be me having his baby. Not some whore who had to steal someone else's man. So now I'm left picking up the pieces and he's off living a new life with a new family. I hate this. FML.