I'm sorry you feel so bad. I hope you will be able to step back and look at the relationship you've been describing the last little while. For whatever reason, your H is not able to work on Piecing your M right now, and has gone right back into MLC. He's verbally and sexually abusive towards you, secretive, and plays mind-games designed to manipulate you into feeling that you are the source of his problems. These are all controlling behaviours. He wants you to be so busy wondering how YOU can change yourself that he can get away with unacceptable behaviour.
Kissak, trust in the changes you made before you took him back. Try to focus on loving yourself, on feeling that you do not need him to be happy, and on filling your life only with actions that satisfy YOU. Nothing that you do right now, from getting an extra job, to showing affection, to gently reasoning with him, to putting all your energy into figuring out why he says such crazy things, is going to have any effect on him right now. I hate to see you trying so hard to turn that frog into a prince that you're neglecting the true prize/princess here: yourself.
((((Kissak))))
^^^^^^^ what she said. Period.
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
