Not much new to report. Yesterday W wanted a hug in the kitchen.

I had just returned from the store and was putting things away

and she asked if I was mad, angry, or upset. I said "No, I am

not angry or upset, why?" So she says, " I wanted to know if you

wanted a hug."

In the past, I have diffused her projection anger with the normal I am sorry u feel that way stuff and later she would be a little sullen and I would ask her if she wanted to go smoke a peace pipe together. That would be the signal for us to give each other a hug provided we are both willing.

This was my way of showing her that even if she is angry
she still knows I am there and I try to keep a connection with her. It has been effective for the most part and now she is kind of doing it back.

So I said sure to the hug. It was a full frontal hug and it happened to be in front of the kids. Man those kids got to be confused!

My W's moodiness continues and show no signs of going away. With her emotions running like a roller coaster I can see why Lance is always mentioning the hormonal factor throughout this.

W is still moving out at the end of the month to continue the "I need live on my own quest."

Then, again this am, before she left for work, she climbed into bed with me for a short hug and cuddle session. Extremely short though, maybe 2 minutes tops. This woman is so confused. Never, ever, do I start any R talks and have totally understood that is just going to hose things up.

My W is not in a place talk about any R now. Two months or so ago, she began to look within and I heard proof of that from her. But now I believe she is back in Replay and will be for a while.

I know when she does this,the hugs I mean, to have no expectations and I don't.
She does not want to in her words "Send mixed messages to you"

I am ready for any 2x4's to come my way so let 'er rip if you want.

The IC has said for me to maintain that connection with my W so she knows I am still there for her. They remember the compassion and understanding that you have shown throughout the crisis.

I am still working on me and have a long way to go.

Eric, before you blast me on this, realize that I am letting go more and more each day. I fully admit to being a slow learner on
all of this letting go stuff.

I have very much to be thankful for and I thank God daily for it.

I also thank God for the people I have met on these boards. They truly help in ways that they do not understand.

Lastly Eric, You are going to miss it. Little Friday Live I mean.

This is the part about GAL that I am looking forward to!!

We will keep you posted though and I will have a cold one just for you when I get there!!