I want to help you during this difficult time so please consider what I have to say.
If there was such a thing as the first commandment of divorce-busting it would be "Thou shalt not overpursue". And if there was ever a case that screamed for following this injunction it is yours. Your story is loaded with signals from your husband that his most immediate relational need is to feel free, unpressured and un-suffocated.
So how do you do this besides carefully reading parts of Divorce Remedy? If in doubt say less rather than more. Let him initiate everything - recognizing for now he often won't. Do absolutely the very best job you can at pretending you are doing fine or well enough. Don't say anything that would allow him to think he is responsible for any of your emotional suffering. The more you can do these things the more his "escape anxiety" will gradually tone down.
In the meantime, learn the strategies and tactics of divorce busting that will come into play once engagement in the relationship starts as a result of your husband's initiave. The time and practice will be well spent.
Also, keep coming here for support. You will find plenty of it, thank goodness.
Last but not least, on the front page of the online section of this site look for "Another Divorce Busted", the section about success stories. More than anything right now, you need to find that sense of hope and possibility. You will find it here.
Truly wishing you the best and giving you my vote of confidence,
