Man, I hate that I still stop in here still from time to time. The selfishness of a WAS still pisses me off. You said that you are not sleeping in your own bed. Why? Take it back, you are not the one that wants to leave. If she doesn't want to share a bed with you, let her sleep on the couch/in the spare room. She is using her cell for contact with OM? Are you paying for that phone, if so, shut it off, YOU DO NOT SUPPORT HER AFFAIR IN ANY WAY!!! Financially or other. If she is mad, oh well. She can be mad. You need some serious boundaries to be set, and unfortunately, I do not know which Vets are still on these boards to help with that as we have lost some good people recently on here.
The problem with the Boards is that oftentimes everyone jumps on the A and focus so much on that, that they lose sight of why all this stuff happened in the first place. Well the A is just a result for the crap that happened before. So what were some of the problems?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I am fairly certain she is. Shes looking for all sorts of spiritual help online when I am not around.
She's also day dreaming alot about the kid she likes. SO who knows.. I think a better description is she appears to be very conflicted based on her behavior that I have observed.
Maybe but I have access to her computer and have known her a very long time. I know whats shes doing online. The only thing I can't monitor currently is her cellphone. I can access the send/receive records though so I know who shes speaking with. I'll probably have full access to her sms soon to.
The problem with the Boards is that oftentimes everyone jumps on the A and focus so much on that, that they lose sight of why all this stuff happened in the first place. Well the A is just a result for the crap that happened before. So what were some of the problems?
True, however, there can be no healing in a relationship as long as an EA or PA continues to happen.
I agree that eventually it needs to end but I don't think now is the time to push for it.
Everyone I have talked to that knows her well says I should just back off right now and wait a bit. Even her best friend who thinks she is [censored] up majorly told me to just wait this one out for a little bit. Not indefinitely but at least a few more weeks.
Its really torture trying to detach from the situation. I keep thinking of all the things that could be going on that I have no control over. Its driving me crazy.
I agree that eventually it needs to end but I don't think now is the time to push for it.
Everyone I have talked to that knows her well says I should just back off right now and wait a bit. Even her best friend who thinks she is [censored] up majorly told me to just wait this one out for a little bit. Not indefinitely but at least a few more weeks.
Wait for the affair to die down?
Really?
You're taking advice from her friend?
Is she closer to you or your wife?
How do you know she didn't agree with your wife on having an affair with another man?
If your wife is having an affair, your actions should be quick and decisive.
Waiting and allowing this crap to continue is just that, waiting for crap to continue. There is no benefit to this.
I agree that eventually it needs to end but I don't think now is the time to push for it.
Everyone I have talked to that knows her well says I should just back off right now and wait a bit. Even her best friend who thinks she is [censored] up majorly told me to just wait this one out for a little bit. Not indefinitely but at least a few more weeks.
Wait for the affair to die down?
Really?
You're taking advice from her friend?
Is she closer to you or your wife?
How do you know she didn't agree with your wife on having an affair with another man?
If your wife is having an affair, your actions should be quick and decisive.
Waiting and allowing this crap to continue is just that, waiting for crap to continue. There is no benefit to this.
- Her friend has supported our marriage from the beginning and had similar issue with my wife. Its a long story but there's a pattern to my wifes behavior and her friend pointed that out. She's on my side in this one so to speak.
- AS far as waiting etc.. [censored] man I dunno. I'm getting conflicting advice. From the people who really know us/her they are telling me to work everything else and wait a bit before I push the issue. The guy is an EA so she justifies it in her head as not a real affair.
