If your goal is to "snap her out of it" you will probably fail (seems to be how things go anyway).
Snap her out of what? She's infatuated with somebody else, and she's not attracted to YOU.
You just accept that and deal with it. If you have healthy self-esteem, you let her go because you don't want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with you or somebody who is chasing somebody else.
Your marriage may or may not get a second chance (that's up to both of you), but right now it is officially dead if she's cheating on you. Accept it, deal with it, and make plans for a life that doesn't involve her.
If things change, then a new course may or may not be warranted.
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Even if it is simply an EA, and she broke it off.. I am still going to insist she move out
Why? Tell her you don't believe that and demand proof. If you don't get proof and transparency, then ask her to move out. If she doesn't love you, ask her to move out. Play the cards as they are dealt. Give her a chance to prove her commitment before you ask her to move out. Usually, they don't even try until you are moving on yourself though.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
