freespirit, Thank you for the book suggestions. I have ordered the Debi Pryde book from Amazon. You are so right about counseling. I started seeing a therapist 2 years ago when we were having trouble with one of our sons. I found I could trust this therapist so I ended up seeing him more than my son did. I still see him once a week, despite H's objections. The counselor has helped me see through the fog of codependency and emotional abuse. I had isolated myself because I was so depressed (and my H kept telling me "I have no friends"), now I am developing friendships again and doing things I love, like playing the piano, again. And I am seeing my relationship with H in a very different light.
