Originally Posted By: Shantilly
but I sometimes feel it could be pushing or cake eating.


Detachment takes time.

It also happens in layers IMO. You are in the first stage.

Which is the hardest.

I tell people that your pain is actually your friend.

it will guide you to the place of detachment where you can be calm

And begin the real work on yourself.

It is letting go and it can be scary but really

I can tell you that it is also letting go of old ideas about your marriage and

about love. It reveals the kind of love that can heal the pain caused by this tragedy in your life.

For you and your H.

I can tell you that I used to send texts or I what I would tell myself was non intrusive/ non painful communications to W.

Then I realized I needed to let even that go to detach completely.

You'll know. The sooner you let go the sooner you will feel better and move toward your own journey.

When you're ready. Everyone must detach and at their own pace.

Keep going.

You can do this.

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am