Abusive spouse accuses "WAW" as "the" problem

[freespirit]

Here are some awesome books; more on the christian few side of emotional and verbal abuse (Patricia Evans books are great btw)
[*]The Emotionally Destructive Relationship by Leslie Vernick
[*]What to do when you are abused by your husband by Debi Pryde
[*]Fool-proofing your life by Jan Silvious

I found that journaling and going to counseling also helped me sort through the fog of abuse and see things; including myself, more clearly. They certainly "don't see us or hear us" and as Patricia's YouTube videos state (#2 I believe) that when this happens the "relationship has ended"...they are no longer having a real relationship with us but with the "dream woman" they constantly want to see and hear; since SHE is the one who is NOT separate from them and does not threaten their "reality"...