I read your other thread and agree with Ellie...you current husband sounds very verbally abusive.
It is hard for us to get a full picture, but I do detect a bit of lack of forgiveness (OW) and vengeance (photography guy) in what you wrote.
Maybe it is a difference in genders, but if OM ever called me up to say my XW cheated on him, we probably would have a good laugh about it.
As for your current problem with your H...it sounds like you wanted to drop the rope over a year and a half ago. Maybe it has just taken him a bit longer to get to that point. Sometimes, people need to grow apart before they can grow together. You best medicine now is to back off, find something you enjoy to do and let time figure this out.
