Turning over a new leaf - GAL!

[lovehurts]

I am gaining so much strength in this GAL stage! I did every single thing on my list above and then some! I even raked the neighbor's yard because they just had a baby a week ago. It felt so good to do something nice for someone that has given so much to me. (support)

At this point, this appears to be journaling since I've not had any insight on my posts, but that's all good too. I need journalling.

I'm focusing on good things (a lot of bad has happened, too, but I'm able to push that aside) Again, I have so many good friends, I'm gaining new ones, reconnecting with old ones and staying the course with existing. I've been burnt pretty bad by one in particular (My S's childcare provider) but I look at that as a blessing as well. I know she is taking info back to WH and pumping S for info, but the thing is, I'm doing NOTHING wrong so they can't pin to me anything like they are trying to. (sorry, but this is a case where intel IS helpful)

Speaking of intel, I'm checking his email much less frequently, every few days or so, and only to make sure I'm not getting screwed. I did see an exchange from his L that stated he can't remove anything from our family home (he wants the bed....hmmm wonder why?) and he wants this over ASAP. They informed him, these things take time, a year or more if both parties agree. Not what he wanted to hear.

The exchanges on the mutual website we use (Cosi.com) are interesting. His have been light, even playful. Mine are facts and to the point. I don't think he knows what to make of this new me. He dropped S off this morning and I KNOW I looked good. I felt good. I can't tell yet if he's having second thoughts, but I'm not worrying about that. I know that this is the right thing for ME right now.

I did go to a parenting class required by the courts this week. It was great. The first part was heart wrenching and i cried quietly through the interviews with the kiddos. I ran into a friend in the bathroom (similar story - and a nice reconnection) and cried with her. A nice hug and I was good to go for the second half - stronger - and knowing what I'm doing is RIGHT. The one thing I learned through this is that kids go through the same grieving process. I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise, but it makes sense. I know where I am in it at all times (very self aware) but I hadn't put labels to my S's behavior. I will now.

This week:
Monday - work out
Tuesday - a friend coming over for dinner
Wednesday - work out
Thursday - S's gymnastics
Friday - Sun - painting, redecorating - getting together with friends!