Hi...starting a new thread. OTher one was getting too long.

Thank you for worrying about me Mila. This weekend has not been the best at all.

Just got out of church tonight...heading home I had to stop by the shop to get something...decided to check on my thread first. Stalling going home probably.

I noticed on his fb tonight that he said he is VERY TIRED. ANd in need of a few drinks. I feel its all because I wont have sex with him the way he wants. I told him NO several times today, that I dont like the violence. That I want it to be loving and comforting...well his reply was, maybe if I gave him what HE wanted I would get what I want. Ugh! How can I get him to understand that I just DO NOT want to have sex with him or can I look at him with desire when he refused to even kiss me, and is never doing anything or saying anything NICE to me at all? He doesnt get it, its all about HIM. Dont get me wrong...I want to do things nice for him, I want to do things that make him feel good, but I just dont FEEL it. I feel like I may as well be a paid, well...you know...I just feel used is all.

I heard a very good message at church tonight...I was able to apply it to me and my H. Going to remember it as I go home. Im thinking he will be in bed already as he is fed up with me today.

I have tried to do what i wanted to do this weekend. Even went to my parents and my sisters house. He didnt seem to care what I did.

Well, Im going to head home now. Pray for me please.

Last edited by kissak; 10/18/10 12:24 AM.
Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10