Pensa, "dark" is not the plan, kicking her to the curb and meaning it (not pretending) is the plan, this isn't a game of who can maintain no contact/going dark the longest, you have to mean it. She cheated on you, she f!@#$%*'d up, now she lost you, game over, case closed. As far as you're concerned, it's over for real and she has to deal with the consequences of that.
If she is still there at the end of the week you keep pushing, pulling, nagging, and doing whatever it takes to let her know she is now getting exactly what she wants.
You want out.. NOW you have it. You WANT him. Now you have him...
BUT you can NOT have me too and you can not expect to STAY here too. "This is for the best and it isn't working for me anymore."
That is your attitude.... You are not mean, you are not punitive, you are not talking about anything except her leaving and you are done. Nothing to talk about. She made her choice and now YOU agree with her. You don't want me to control anymore... NOW you have it.. No more control from me... Now you two lovers are free to be with each other, maybe even move in with him.
Allow her to deal the REALITY... Deep down you know you are showing more strength by telling her to go than you are by ALLOWING this and also taking the blame. Get tough. Push her into reality. Let her face what she hasn't prepared for...
That is your attitude.... You are not mean, you are not punitive, you are not talking about anything except her leaving and you are done. Nothing to talk about. She made her choice and now YOU agree with her.
Originally Posted By: robx
Pensa, "dark" is not the plan, kicking her to the curb and meaning it (not pretending) is the plan, this isn't a game of who can maintain no contact/going dark the longest, you have to mean it. She cheated on you, she f!@#$%*'d up, now she lost you, game over, case closed. As far as you're concerned, it's over for real and she has to deal with the consequences of that.
Both really excellent posts. Read them over and over again Pensacola and follow the advice. She wants out... let her go.
Yes! I am stepping out into the light! You guys have inspired me! Now I prep the battlefield. 180's for the next couple of days (parent teacher stuff at sons school) then KABLAMO!
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
Pensacola - Listen to Gucci. he posted to me back in my sitch and it took me about 3 weeks to decide to take his advice... And it worked immediately...the only delay was me implementing...
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
