I think you'll find that as long as she is emotionally involved with the OM you won't get anything but shifty, manipulative nonsense from your wife.
The deadline is just a way for her to keep you at arms length while she pursues her EA without you hassling her while she decides what her next move is. I wouldn't trust anything she tells you at this point.
You're lucky that her OM is completely unsuitable for any kind of real, even medium term, relationship. I'd back off, work on yourself, set her free, don't support her while she leaves you and watch her go down in flames. Hard to do I know but you can do it.
