WAW 20 years and wants out

[gucci loafer]

You are being naive.

She thinks she loves the OM.
She DID go see the OM..

You projected and showed nothing but weakness. Weakness is not attractive to women.

NEVER ask them if they were with their lover. They will always lie, deny and deflect. (which of course she did and you bought)

I came back upstairs and told her I was leaving

(did you brush your teeth first?) You are being a drama queen. Just leave. You only walked back up there for drama. Again. That is weakness.

I said I can no longer live like this when I know there is another man involved and I cant trust her.

You HAVE been living like this for quite some time. She knows you are weak and don't mean a word of what you say. You didn't leave did you? Nope. You are still there and still living like you say you can't and still with someone you don't trust. More drama queen nonsense. She isn't the list bit worried. She is only trying to deflect you from her interest in the OM. You are falling for it.

I told her my eyes are open now. I am ready to put it all out there.

They are open because you lost her. Because you are desperate. Big difference in going to counseling out of desperation vs out of strength. You are not showing one bit of strength. You are actually secretly pushing her further away.

I told her since this was the first time we have really talked about any issue, I would stay for now.

Told you you. You were just being a drama queen. You would have left and been back within an hour. That type of action is going to set you back instead of help you. Actually it should be HER that leaves and it should be YOU telling her to leave.

You allowed her to turn this all around and make it about you.
This got the subject off of the OM.

You DO know she wants him and went to see him don't you? If not, then you need to wake up. Stop being in denial. He is NOT just a friend in her mind.