Thank you, free spirit for your reply. you are so right - the abusive spouse always sees us as the problem and projects onto us what they are doing. I haven't left. Our oldest son is a senior in college and I know he would be cut off if I left. our youngest is being home schooled this year so again, I am staying for now. I've been reading so many books about emotional and verbal abuse and trying to get strong and be happy despite the abuse. It's surely not easy! I want to say to you to enjoy your freedom but that surely carries it's own problems, doesn't it in terms of dealing with the divorce. The anger these abusers carry, when it is spewed out at us is unbelievably strong. You are so right about trying to not act back in pain. It's that concept of "power over" that is talked about in Patricia Evans book on verbal abuse. They are coming at us from a different reality - power over versus Mutual love that we are trying to live in.
