thx rabbit - i cant thank you enough. you really got me through the worse of it. I iwll never ever forget that and consider you a friend for life!!!
so I got served - not with divorce papers. With a "motion to modify custody" - which by the way was what I have been drafting with my lawyer to serve him with!! H just got ahead of me by a couple days.
In our legal separation agreement, basically we have a 50/50 physical custody agreement, but H has never followed it. It's been more like 90/10. So I'm fighting not only to "keep the status quo" but actually full custody.
Trying to look at the bright side, he was going to have to respond to my motion anyhow, now his cards are on the table and I know what I am dealing with, what to bring up, etc.
Honestly, what was holding me back was I didn't want to "pull the trigger". Honestly, I did not want to put into legal writing all our dirty laundry. AFter all the emotional abuse, I was still terrified of him, what he would say about me, of the court not taking me seriously. And, I did not want to do that to him. I did not want to be an a$$ to him. I felt/feel sorry for him. It's too bad. In a way, I was doddling because I just felt awful being the one to start the fight.
So he started it, I can't let my fears stall me. Got me jumpstarted. No more guilt, finally, all the statements of why I want full custody are flowing out of me - all the memories of his humiliation, manipulation, lies, insults, etc. I can finally write them out.
