Hello hello - is there anybody out there?

[NotFromThesePart]

M,

Speaking as a male and one accused of being the LD spouse perhaps I can relate. I DO hate the idea of being in a "sexless marriage". I'd never agree that it is what I want. But I also wouldn't leave if/when that hapens. Why? In part insecurity.

Sex is sex, cuddling is cuddling, talking is talking. One does not always lead to the other. In fact talking about sex has always been hard on me.

When W and I had a dry spell, it built up. The pressure to perform got greater and greater. This made it harder for me to initiate, even when I wanted to. W did not help here. I didn't want to hear that I was "sexless" nor, strage, etc. Honestly I just wanted it go my business and go to bed. I know that wasn't want W wanted nor was it fair. But practice makes perfect and if she could just lower the pressure bar, it made it easier.

In the back of my mind I thought of it like working out. I know the first few times are going to be difficult, but once we get into the swing of things, I enjoy it and it gets easier and better.

I've changed my perspective a bit, but perhaps this is what H is thinking.

I highly recommend NOT asking him why he is not interested in sex nor reminding him that you are the HD. It may be totally true, but he may not see it that way.

Just my opinion. YMMV.