Post-separation, each time she has brought it up since July I would say, which I think is 4 times now including last night (1x / month in response to her?).
Originally Posted By: FaithnAK
Have you told her if you could go back in time and undo all the mistakes that you would?
Yes.
Originally Posted By: FaithnAK
It's ok to apologize to her through validation, but not when she's trying to make you feel bad. "Nobody likes me and my life sucks and woe woe woe is me...ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!" NO, it isn't.
Yes, I agree. I did say last night, "I am sorry you feel that way. I am sorry for my past behavior and that I hurt you. I am not responsible for all that you don't like about your life today." Should I just have stopped after the first line??
Originally Posted By: FaithnAK
When you wake up each day and look in the mirror are you happy about what you have become? Are you happy that you stopped all your CB and put it behind you and are moving forward to make sure that you NEVER travel down that ugly path again?
Definitely happier about self and changes. Will continue to be work in progress indefinitely =)
Originally Posted By: FaithnAK
Let her express her feelings to you and continue to understand why she feels that way. However, DO NOT try to fix her feelings by apologizing. Just continue with your changes and be the Rock that you were not before. That to me means more than apologizing all the time.
I think I am getting what you are suggesting? Given that I have clearly apologized, and she knows I am remorseful, I can VALIDATE and and continue to behave well, but if I apologize every single time she brings it up that I am relieving her of her role and responsibility to confront/process her own feelings? Is that part of your point?
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
