Hello hello - is there anybody out there?

[Young at Heart]

.....He said today that he knew I was the woman for him when we'd been dating about a year. (We've been together almost 9 years now.)

...One thing I AM doing right: I'm constantly telling him how much I like the cuddling, kissing, compliments, etc. I didn't study psychology in school for nothing! [g] Positive reinforcement - make a big deal out of behaviors you want to encourage, right?

I know that my being late for things all the time is one thing about me that he hates and wishes to change. To tell the truth, I know this is an issue for me in all areas of my life. It's a control thing.

+1 on SOBear's comments.

It sounds like you are married to a good man who really does love you. You need to look at your glass as being half full and not half empty. You are also doing a lot of things very well. Keep it up!

Now a digression. One day many years ago, I was listening to the Dr. Laura radio show, while driving to a meeting in my car and I heard a woman tell about how she helped motivate her husband who came to her and told her that he needed to loose weight. She felt that it was something she wanted to help him with. She told her husband that for every 10 pounds he lost, she would let him buy her a sexy outfit that she would wear for him in their bedroom.

He lost a lot of weight fairly quickly, as he was really motivated by his wife. Dr. Laura thought that this woman was brilliant.

Now back to your situation; you say that you want to change from being late and that it is something that drives your husband nuts.

Perhaps, you and your husband can figure out a way to "motivate you" for becoming a timely person (maybe adapting what the lady in the Dr. Laura show did)! You say that you need cuddling and sex, he says that he wants you to stop being late. I see a real opportunity for him to help you reinforce a change that you really want to make. Since you have studied psychology and understand positive reinforcement you should be able to work something out. Maybe this will appeal to the "knight in shining armor" self-image of your husband?

Good luck.